rock my socks!

Friday, October 17, 2008

It's amazing how at times we see ourselves looking back at the past, lingering on all the million memories which, amazingly, still perfectly fit in our hearts. It's like watching an old re-run of you life's tv series. The only difference is that you aren't exactly the same. Some of the faces on the screen, you still recognize. You remember them vividly now that you've found the time to look back. Friends, Best Friends, former lovers, former enemies -- The role they played once in your life seemed to be just another fragment of your recall now.

It didn't matter how much they've hurt you, or how much they've made you go crazy. When it comes down to it you only see the special moments that define their special place in your memory. And some of these people are still around, the ones whom you tightly held on to for they never let go. but then, as you held on to some, you also lost a few.

Few people who once became huge parts of your world, they took away too much part of you, ripping your heart, taking away that vital organ which keeps you going. Too much of a part that you had to let them slip away just to have enough left for yourself. People who you have to let go of in order for you to not lose everyone else, not lose yourself.

But then, you realize that it wasn't only your fault. Because as it takes two people to hold onto a binding string, it also takes two to cut it. They let you go too. The reason, you may never really get to know.

Now, they're gone. You feel that empty space in you. That utter loss. The scar that once opened up a part of yourself to them would always remain engraved on your skin no matter how hard you try to ignore it. The promises, the laughter, all the share of pain, you all wish them back. And sometimes, I wake up on days like these, just missing those times, missing that person. Wondering if it's even possible to have even just one second of refrainment. Missing them is harder, especially when you know that they might never come back. All you have is that once piece of memory. You memorize the picture in your mind. Hoping that it would be enough.

Regrets. Friendship. Love.
Cherish them once you've found them. For one day, you would look back on these things.
Even if you attempt to start over again, it would never be the same.

Who Knew? - Pink

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened?

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew?
My darling
My darling
Who knew?
My darling
I miss you.
My darling
Who knew?
Who knew

It's too late for everything♥
6:21 AM

I am random today, and so I will blog gibberish and awry thoughts! hahah. This is my new topic: How to get writer's block. I HAVE WRITER'S BLOOOOCK! seriously. I can't think of anything sensible to write when I stare at the computer screen. And I feel like a total loser right now. SO, to help me get over this loser-ness(is there such a word?) I WOULD HELP YOU GUYS TO HAVE WRITER'S BLOCK TOO! yeay! Isn't that great? Then we'll ALL have writer's block and everyone would blog about random things! YEEEAY!

How to Get Writer’s Block

1. Sit at your computer, but don’t open Word. Just sit and stare at the blank screen.

2. Reread your least favorite parts of Twilight. (teeheee)

3. Don’t listen to any music.

4. Better yet, only listen to Europop, techno, and rap.

5. If you hear anything other than those types of music, crush the offensive noise into oblivion.

6. If it happens to be your iPod, go ahead.

7. If you’re over 21, drink. All day and all night.

8. If you’re under 21, drink. All day and all night.

9. If you feel sober, drink some more.

10. Go shopping and look at things you can’t afford. When you leave, think, “Alice would have bought that.”

11. Watch Japanese Anime (not redubbed) that you can’t understand. ( I did this. Honestly. I got an effing headache.)

12. Wake up an hour earlier than you need to.

13. Constantly remind people what a loser you are. (I just did.)

14. Wear black every day, but say that you AREN’T goth. (emooo! boo!)

15. Join sports you have no idea how to play. (err.. like korfball?)

16. If you’re writing a specific story, don’t read any similar ones.

17. Instead, read Are you afraid of the dark?, and dream of writing your own.

18. Burn copies of New Moon.

19. Never exercise. (:DDD)

20. Be like Jawe, the mcdo dude, and eat as much burgers you can eat.

21. Read travel magazines for places you never want to visit. (like Iraq..)

22. Buy a large expensive thing, and purposely put it in a place most likely to get broken.

23. When it breaks, complain about how miserable your life is.

24. Buy a new, large expensive thing, and put in the same place.

25. Read depressing poems.

26. Watch the news attentively when they talk about homicide cases.

27. Devote your life to reading your science textbook cover to cover. ( jawe?)

28. When you finish, reread it.

29. Repeat step 28 for at least five years.

30. Constantly insert newly learned scientific information into your fic.

31. Whenever you think of a new plotline, idea, or scene, dismiss it as unimportant and forget about it.

32. Later, complain about the fact that you forgot it, and drown your sorrows in angsty profile posts.

33. Constantly check your email for new reviews.

34. This works especially well if you haven’t posted any stories.

35. Drag out your old work and critique it harshly.

36. Post it with various disclaimers that it sucks.

37. Hold chapters hostage.

38. When in doubt, say no. No matter what the issue is. Just say it.

39. Never ask anyone for help.

40. Ever.

41. If someone asks if you want help, yell, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?!” and run away.

42. This works especially well if it’s in a crowded store.

43. Spam mail Congress.

44. Talk about global warming. (it helps.)

45. Constantly.

46. Inform SUV owners that they are destroying the world.

47. Attempt to write a fic that breaks all the rules of good fanfiction.

48. Post it.

49. Convince yourself that it’s the best fic EVER written, and react accordingly when someone flames you.

50. Finally, drink coffee. With crack mixed in.

:)
last but not the least.

51. Blog about how you got your writer's block and convince other people so that you aren't the only miserable being left in the face of the planet. :)

THIS IS THE WORK OF MY CREATIVE WRITER'S BLOCK, DON'T STEAL. thanks. :)

It's too late for everything♥
6:19 AM

Monday, January 14, 2008

my hamtaro baby is missing..

still, I feel happy despite of minor disappointments.

anyway, I listened to F.I.R's "Lydia" again. You know, the song from "The Outsiders" series.. and I felt emo once again.

I'll share my favorite part of the song:

"Por Los momentus de ficiles

Diante di que la flor mas bella

sierra siempre

para mi"

yes, it's the opening part where a gril is speaking in spanish(?).. and I just love it.

I had to ask my dad for the translation of this:

"During the most difficult times

remember that the most beautiful flower

is always for me."

Is it mine?

Labels: FIR, Lydia

It's too late for everything♥
4:25 AM

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Pretty Gillian Pics again. ^__^

Sorry.. I just can't get enough of her.. She's just too angelic.

LOL. She's like my ultimate epitome of HEAVENLY BEAUTY!

ggaaarr.. going crazy once more.. for DBSK this time.. my gawd!! they're like the hottest people in the planet!! and they're voices really blend well!! The just released their new apanese album titled PURLE LINE and the MV is steamy!! LOL. YunHo's rapping still sound awkward with the high pitch that he's trying, but I still find the song catchy..mostly because I just can;t take my eyes of their killer looks!..^__^ but nothing can beat their best song.."Rising Sun." LOL. The MV for Rising is just so dramatic and upbeat! I just love them so much...larh... anyway, meet my hubby Jae Joong!

Lord, Please sent me this mous for my birthday..He's all I want this year..yes, lord..the ope pictured just above this message...the cute blonde guy with the cute fake doggie ears.. He's just too cute..and I wnat to take him home with me!

THANK YOU!

Labels: vanitystrikes

It's too late for everything♥
10:45 PM

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

To a special friend whom I adore so much, for her courage and faith despite of the constant downfalls in her young life.
I salute her.
I hate Me.

Welcome to the unfair world where sinners are saved and angels are taken.

Here, I confess the guilt I have suffered these past few days. I am a conceited person who thinks life had already closed its doors on me, yet I never realized how wrong I was all along. My life is a worthless search, and SOMEBODY COULD'VE LIVED IT BETTER IF THEY HAD THE CHANCE TO STEP INTO MY SHOES.

Life is something most of us disregard. We spent half of it running after something we think we want, and we end up missing on to something better.

And while I lament over the dull little sufferings in my life, somebody holds onto it like a precious pearl--and that somebody ends up losing it instead.

Unfair.

The life that was taken away could've been mine. I could've died without causing much distress, without making so much loss. If I was the one instead, then maybe it'll be better. I could've finally seen the peace that I was looking for all along, and that someone could've lived her life longer and inspire others.

I am guilty for not being thankful of what I have.

and I finally woke up from a long slumber.

_+_
"The Wax Facade"

She was cheerful and optimistic, always ready with a genuine smile to please everyone--not a glint of pain in her delicate face.
Every morning she rose to greet life with warm embrace.
The thorn of every stinging blooded wound, she endured to seek escape.

In the depths of her unyielding eyes, you will come to see
the hidden burden of sadness, and faith that she longed to keep.
the hurt she supressed inside and the sorrow of stifled weeps.
Yet still, you see her, wearing a smile of deceit.

She walks along the crowded path
her faith was all that she had
yet still destiny turned her luck
in a disappointing yeasterday, she was stuck.

As the sun rises, the new day was born
She woke up and stand high and tall
Still, she was in deep pain from her untimely loss
A happy facade, she once again wore.

But as the night falls and everyone falls into sleep
the mask she wore made of wax and perfume
will slowly melt along with its happy endeavor.
and once again, she'll travel in the winding path
weeping and crying for the precious thing she lost

And as the lonely cricket cries,
She calls out to her elusive dream
She moves on the swaying frigid wind
to meet her creator once more.

--larrggghh.. No idea why I wrote this poem. I just feel sad.
But i dedicate this to a special person.

Labels: death, life

It's too late for everything♥
3:26 AM

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

It's almost 12 midnight on a school night.
and I am effing bored and tired and lazy and ..well.. emo.
My day had been typical. Jawe and Yu during breaks, shabotrra on singing practices, anthony's craziness, ms. tobias' anecdotes, ...*sigh*
Anyway, so you probably wonder what triggers my emo mode this time.. Basically, it's all because of two certain songs that has kept me up for two consecutive night already. shessh..

"Tear drops on my guitar"-Taylor Swift
total emo song. I swear. The lyrics struck me dead.

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see. That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be. I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about And she's got everything that I have to live without. Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny That I can't even see anyone when he's with me. He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar. The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star. He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do.

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?And there he goes, so perfectly,The kind of flawless I wish I could beShe'd better hold him tight, give him all her loveLook in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light. I'll put his picture down and maybe Get some sleep tonight. He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar. The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart. He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do. He's the time taken up, but there's never enough. And he's all that I need to fall into..

Totally ouch.

I don't know why but the song just reminds me so much of something that I tried so hard to forget. I know, I know. I am a dork. And it sucks to know that while you are busy telling yourself that you are finally alright, there he goes again, reminding you that he's got your heart. ahhh...

I don't want to feel this way!

Why does it have to take so long? Why does it still hurt?

I want to be numb, so that I can finally move on completely. without ever having to look back.

Too bad. Drew is such a lucky person whoever he is. And he doesn't even know it.

"Your Call"- Second hand serenade

A very touching song. Shasta told me about the video and I just love it to bits! So sad. The song really reflects my mood. I love the serenity of the song.

"I was born to tell you I love you

And I am torn to do what I have to.

To make you mine, stay with me a while.

I am tired of being all alone

and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home.."

LSS.

I am such a sucker for emo songs.

ahhh!!!

I still have to finish that english reflective essay!!!

and yeah,

I have to finally congratulate myself for being able to avoid him for so long already. He PMed me in YM a couple of times but I managed not to reply.

Sorry, It's my defence mechanism. Sort of like a solution to my unyielding feelings, to restrain it rather than make it vanish.

And I do like it better this way. Because now, it's only ME. I, no more, belong to a tangle of love complications that will only leave me broken in the end.

ME.MYSELF.I

"We always look for something that has always been there under our nose."

It's too late for everything♥
7:48 AM

Friday, November 30, 2007

SATURDAY

One of the most hectic days of my crazy december has finally come!! aaahhhh... I had to wake up earlier than usual because we had to 'practice' for our intermission number for the much awaited concert. Anyway, Kamikazee was totally ROCKING the school! Although it really pissed most of us that they weren't on until 10 in the evening. I mean it was clearly, and I mean CLEARLY, stated in the tickets that the start of the KAMIKAZEE concert was at 7 pm. Sheeesh.. typical people. I hate everything that is delayed! It somehow interrupts human nature's cycle! Okay..so maybe that was a little out.. Sorry if I sound crappy and disoriented. I just woke up from my short nap.

Well, our intermission number was half a mess. *sigh* But I wasn't really expecting it to be great either because we only had barely a day for practice. I was so sure that we really messed up big time. :'(

anyway, the show must go on..

COJ. Castration of Jolo, a band from us seniors, was probably the best among the bends! And I am sure of that! haha! Plus, they sang "FACE DOWN"!! ahaha!! MLSS. my.last.song.syndrome.

And finally, a realization.
I'm OVER everything about the past. I'm OVER who I used to be. I'm not the same person anymore. And I've got to keep moving forward, without looking back.
Yep, new motto means new life!!
I'm starting fresh! :P

MONDAY-TUESDAY

"The Silent Soprano," a play presented by UP Dilliman.

Nothing more to say about the play exept that I give it a two-thumbs up! It was really worth watching! But one thing bothers me as I watch the play: "why are most male actors attractive, while most female actresses in plays are just..okay(?).." I kind of feel like there's a bit of unbalanced aura. But then again, they all act great! We all learned a valuable lesson from it despite of the typical plot line.

Song Fest Practices

Hectic--the best word to describe our practices. See, we only have a day left before the competition and we still changed our piece! Yeah, it sucks, but hey! at least we are really trying our best to present a decent number on thurs. I just hope we'll ba able to finish everything by then.

lahhh....

school stuff once again!
I'm going insane, literally!

Labels: kamikazee concert, school craze, silent soprano, sjc, songfest

It's too late for everything♥
1:01 AM